i stand... somewhat impressed

i don't recall all the peripheral details, but i remember the moment itself like it just happened. i know i was with my parents in the car. i believe we were on the way to visit my sister in michigan. if i have to guess, i would say i was about 12 years old. as we drove, we came to an area close to an airport. high above, a plane soared. my mother turned from the front seat to tell me to look up and see the plane. and here is the moment i remember so well- unbeknownst to her, i rolled my eyes and said 'i see it mom,' but in reality i had made no attempt whatsoever to look at the plane. i mean, come on. i was 12 years old. i had seen tons of planes in my day. that was only cool and exciting to little kids.

i think about that day all the time. no exaggeration- i really do think about it every time i hear or see a plane. in fact it just happened yesterday when i was driving by the columbus airport and saw a plane fly overhead. i think about it because that is the precise moment i lost my sense of amazement for modern technology. in fact, nothing amazes me anymore unless i really allow myself to think about it long and hard. even though i cannot explain how a plane flies, it is just commonplace now. no need to get all worked up over it, right? thousands of them take off and land every day. despite the fact that i cannot even begin to give a scientific description of how we are able to record sound onto a tape, or video into a camcorder, i view it as simple. technology adapts and changes so quickly, it seems like nothing that could be invented would really knock me off my feet at this point. the childlike sense of wonder is gone. but yesterday, when i saw that plane, i let myself drift into thought. i considered how awe inspiring it truly is to see an object that large fly through the air. i thought about how awesome it is that God has given man the intelligence to engineer, pilot and build these machines. i let my mind go back to the days before that trip, when i was a young boy and the world was filled with incredible inventions and discoveries for me to experience. it was very freeing to feel that again.

there is a song i love called 'i stand amazed.' it goes like this-

i stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene
and wonder how He could love me- a sinner condemned, unclean

He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them His very own
He bore the burden to calvary and suffered and died alone

how marvelous! how wonderful and my song shall ever be!
how marvelous! how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!

i could write for a long time about this, but i will keep it short for now. i think i had, until recently, stopped thinking of grace as all that amazing. i didn't stand amazed anymore. God's mercies are new to me every morning. His grace is extended to me over and over again, so i sat in the back seat rolling my eyes, thinking "oh here comes forgiveness again..." i think the frequency of that gift being given made it less impressive to me. even though i could not explain why or how God had forgiven me, it became standard and even mundane. recently, i had an experience that opened my eyes to just how wonderful it is to be forgiven and redeemed by God. my simple prayer is that i never go back to the days of feeling like forgiveness and grace are anything less than awesome and inconceivable.